Who am I?
To the outside world, I am a young woman in my late 20s, and for the most part, able to get by as a heteronormative person with a male partner and a plan to have children and a decent career.
To myself and those close to me, I am:
- someone who doesn’t identify with any particular gender – in the privacy of my own home and social life, I dress how I like and don’t concern myself with conforming to a particular gender representation. Most of the time I present as Femme, sometimes as soft butch, sometimes as andro. More importantly, I present as me.
- polyamorous: I have more than one partner at a time, or can have. Sometimes I have no partners and yet I still think of myself as poly. Sometimes I could call myself non-monogamous instead, which is less specific. But mostly I identify as polyamorous because my sexual activities take place mostly in the context of relationships, not casual encounters.
- bisexual: my attractions to others are not based on their gender.
- queer: a more politicised version of the above, and being an oft-political being, a label I tend to use more frequently for myself than bisexual. I use it as part of my blog title because I see it as the “outward facing” part of my lifestyle. And this blog, though self-reflective in nature, is about facing outward and representing that to those in my external environment.
- kinky: I have what I suppose most of the population would call “unusual sex practices.” I indulge in BDSM and genderplay/genderfuckery and have mostly kinky sex with my partners.
But mostly, I do not think of myself as a person of labels; I am ME – no more, no less. Part of the attraction of living without labels is the freedom of it. I am allowed to change my mind and the way I live my life without judgment and without upheaval. Mainly I am a person who has multiple relationships with people of whatever gender, I have a career (and I may change to another in the near future), and I want to start a family. I don’t see any of these things as mutually exclusive.
I have multiple partners of all genders. I am not in touch with my biological family at all – partly due to my sexuality, my lifestyle, and partly for other reasons. I do have a strong “logical” (chosen) family, however.
This is my story.
You can follow me on twitter as @queerdesires.